I'm sure there are numerous tales of getting things wrong - either saying the wrong thing or not understanding that leaves both the speaker and listener bewildered.

Have you got any good stories?  Here is just one of mine....

Early this year we had a man come to cut our olive trees.  As I'm still (and probably always will be) learning the language my vocabulary is still somewhat limited.  Anyway, for whatever reason I know the word for a frog - which is rana.

So, this chap is cutting the trees and I went to talk to him.  'Hay muchas ramas' he said. Well, with the noise and lack of language I thought he said 'Hay muchas ranas' - there are lots of frogs. So, there's me looking around on the ground for all the frogs - and couldn't see any....  Bemused I wandered off thinking he had enjoyed one too many carajilios (coffee and brandy for those who don't know) for breakfast.

Well, it turns out that (obvious really) ramas are branches - one letter can make all the difference!

Nigel

Here is a great one that really got me wondering if the wearer of the T-Shirt was just a little insane or just didn't like her mum.

I'll leave you to look up the literal translation in your dictionary.....

Anyway, it turns out that it's a fairly common Spanish Modismo (idiom) that means 'Fantastic' - isn't language great!

Nigel

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Hi Nigel,

Yes, one letter difference can mean ALL of the difference.

I went to the local butcher and asked for "un polla de dos kilos" thinking i was doing really well with my Spanish, until i saw the female butchers face.......................again, like yourself i was quite bemused with the look of horror on her face.

When i explained it to my Spanish friend, she laughed until nearly hysterical...........

As i obviously now know, "pollo" is chicken, but "polla" is a man's private parts, so i suppose the butcher thought, "my God" 2 kilos of thingy"..(the forum wont let me print the exact word)...........what a huge chicken.....................................I will never make that mistake again.

BUT........in reverse, a couple of years ago, the same Spanish friend and i were driving down the road, when all of the Spring flowers were in bloom.

I commented on how beautiful the poppies were, and i continued to explain that in the UK, we wear Poppies in November to remember all of the soldiers who were killed in the 2 world wars, and also for the service men and women in more recent wars.

She replied with....."aaahhhhh si, where do you wear them", so i explained that we wear them on our coats, because in the UK in November it is really cold.............. and i saw the confused look on her face, then she asked, are they dead when you wear them?

I thought for a minute, and explained that most of them are made from synthetic material, but the Queen and the Government of the UK, usually wear real ones.

She looked horrified!!!!

When i realised that we were at cross purposes, i asked what did she think i had said?

In her "pidgeon/Spanglish", she said "you wear dead PUPPIES  on your coats"

As you can imagine i was now hysterical with laughter.

Like you say Nigel, the joys of learing a language.

Jools    

While we were touring Spain on the bikes a few years back, one of the group kept asking for a salad and french fries with his meals , but not getting understood of course because he was asking for EXIT (salida) and  chips!

On being asked by our local garage attendant how long we had been here, my wife answered, UN ANOS. we couldnt understand what was so funny, until she pointed to her rear.
and i told my doctor i had a bottle top in my ear, after thinking tapon was a gromet, bloody dictionaries.

I wonder if this applies in all languages.......

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod autaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdgnieg.  The phaonmneal pweor of the human mind aoccdrnig to rsccheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in what order the ltteers in a word are, the only iprmoatnt thing is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.  The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm.  This is bcuseae the human mind deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.  Amzanig huh?

My friend 'Mrs Malaprop' is a hoot!
Here are just a few of the malapropisms she has managed in Spanish.
She was trying to invite a male friend for a meal ( comer, to eat) and ended up saying something like, would you like to come to bed (cama) with me at my house. Of course he accepted the invitation with much enthusiasm.
She also did the 'polla' instead of 'pollo'. This time it was to a farmer and she basically asked him how many *ocks he had. Very approppriate!
The most embarrassing one was trying to ask the female member of staff at a bar for a straw. I think the word is canya but she asked for a conyo, which is a very rude word pertaining to part of the female anantomy. The worst thing as that when she got a blank look she followed it up by holding a pretend straw and making sucking noises. Apparently the woman was not best pleased!!!
Some people just seem to have a nack with this sort of thing!
Oh, I try not to let her order the cacaolat ( cocoa), well you can imagine what we would end up with!!!!

I saw this in Mc Donalds in Cambrils today - I nearly got thrown out for taking the photo - they weren't happy! Can you make sense of it??

Any more? Try not to get into trouble though  ;D

Nigel

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This was sent to me the other day - it's worth learning Spanish to fully understand it - I was in stitches when I read it.... it's so true... for those of you still learning - get out your heavyweight diccionarios as you'll not find many of these in the pocket versions...

Nigel

NOTE FOR OUR SPANISH STAFF

It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language.

Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.

Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the following rules:

Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as "mira ese guiri de mierda" or "pasa de ese polaco".

Words like "coño", "hostia" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.

You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a mistake, or "la está cagando" if you see somebody being reprimanded or "¡qué cagada!" when a major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb "cagar"
are inappropriate in our environment.

No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as "el hijo de la gran puta", or "el muy cabrón" or even "el lameculos".

Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de huevos" or "mariconazo" nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever referred to as "nenaza" or "acojonado".

Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as "pajas mentales"
in particular when they stem from your manager.

You will not say "cómo me jode" if a person is persistent, or "está jodido"
or "le van a joder" if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.

Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words "qué jodienda" should not be used.

When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete a tomar polculo", or "vete a la mieeeeeeerda" nor should you ever substitut the most educated "can I help you?" with "¿qué coño quieres ahora?" or "que te ayude tu puta madre".

If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as "we are going through a difficult time" should be used rather than "esto está jodido" or "nos van a joder a todos". Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and do not say "qué putada" or any expressions composed with the root "puta".

No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida de mierda". Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "me voy a limpiar el culo con ella" or "me la paso por el forro de los cojones".

Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.

Saw this laundrette in Barcelona a couple of weeks ago - I couldn't resist taking a photo!

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How about the frankfurters sold in Sabecos Called Woodys, or the toilet cleaner called Flota they always make me chuckle, or better still the Motorway services Called ARS and they sell Bonka coffee i hope there is one near to Sitges!!

wrote on Oct 11^th, 2007 at 9:24pm:

On being asked by our local garage attendant how long we had been here, my wife answered, UN ANOS. we couldnt understand what was so funny, until she pointed to her rear. and i told my doctor i had a bottle top in my ear, after thinking tapon was a gromet, bloody dictionaries.

Thats a hell of a long time to wait to be served at a petrol station, mind you the catalans are renowned for their quick service!! and the customer always being King "NOT"

wrote on Jan 31^st, 2009 at 1:23pm:

The Motorway services Called ARS and they sell Bonka coffee i hope there is one near to Sitges!!

Well, here it is... literal translation (make of it what you will!) - 'In Ars you will live the sensations more intense with Bonka' - one for Graham Norton?

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Thanks Nigel the translation makes it even more amusing

I'm having a problem conecting Graham Norton with a brand of coffee and a motorway service station,could someone please explain.....

GRAHAM
Gender: AC/DC
Usage: Scottish, English
Pronounced: GWAY-əm, GRAM  [key]
From a Scottish surname which was originally derived from an English place name which probably meant "welcoming valley" as in "I'm the only gay in this village"

NORTON
Gender: Indeterminate
Usage: English
Pronounced: NOR-ton  [key]
From a surname which was originally derived from a place name meaning "norse hampton” town" in Old English. a town much renowned for its naturist festivals where groups of males would dance round open fires shouting form a circle!!
Motorway service area see Dogging in the dictionary
Do you get the connection now?

No.....Still can't see what an Aussie/UK 'beat combo' and a town famous for shoes has to do with a motorway service and a jar of Nescafe.

Ahhh I see your problem its not Nescafe, its Bonka, a shortened word (what else in Catalunya) derived from the french Bonkette, a small bed usually for an afternoon snooze or other activities

Anyway what has happened to cactus jack and ebrorob on this subject, we are missing some of the usual suspects!! ;D

wrote on Feb 3^rd, 2009 at 9:54pm:

No.....Still can't see what an Aussie/UK 'beat combo' and a town famous for shoes has to do with a motorway service and a jar of Nescafe.

AC/DC a beat combo???? How old are you Nobby??????
Only the BEST heavy rock band EVER. And I am going to their wembley concert in June ;D NURR and you're not Ha Ha
Hope my hearing aids can stand the noise!!!
And I dont have to stand too long.
And I am not too far from the stage because I wont be able to see that far.
And they have facilities for a nice cup of tea while I am there.

wrote on Feb 4^th, 2009 at 11:22am:

wrote on Feb 3rd, 2009 at 9:54pm: No.....Still can't see what an Aussie/UK 'beat combo' and a town famous for shoes has to do with a motorway service and a jar of Nescafe. AC/DC a beat combo???? How old are you Nobby?????? Only the BEST heavy rock band EVER. And I am going to their wembley concert in June ;D NURR and you're not Ha Ha Hope my hearing aids can stand the noise!!! And I dont have to stand too long. And I am not too far from the stage because I wont be able to see that far. And they have facilities for a nice cup of tea while I am there.

Don't forget to get a seat near to the bogs if you are going to drink tea

Steve.....Like a brown trout rises to the fly,I knew I'd get you on that one.
If you get us a T shirt  (XL) I'll give you your 'olive press' back in one piece.

Ian
There is nothing worse than a tee shirt stretched around a middle aged waist.
I will have the XL you can have the XXL
(that press had better in one piece!!!)

You never know, I might even have a spare ticket unless Ebay prices are too good to turn down.

Gotta go now, there is a fly in my mouth :)