Hello Boyo's and of course not forgetting the laydeezz!
Well, it seems this Tortosa Forum has been attracting some attention over in the Valleeez, or should I say kicking up a bit of a stink amongst all those garlick lovers. I love a bit of garlick myself but please Laydeez don't eat it the day before my concerts!
What? In case I give you a kiss? No way man, it spoils the aroma of the panties you throw on stage. I'm a bit of a connoisseur in that department.
Its bloody cold in these here valleys this time of year and my icicle is giving me gyp, must be these new leather trousers.
I'll be coming over your way soon folks so get all your pools cleaned up and make sure they are nice and warm.
What did you say? Nah, you dirty minded gits, not for that. I've just had a new hair transplant and the Doc. says cold water will make it fall out again.... difficult to match my hair type he says.... What did you say Delilah? He took it from where? Jesu*, I thought I was running a bit thin elsewhere! Get me my solicitor I'm going to sue. And  you Forum lot, make the pools nice and cold eh!!
Yours Truly
Tom, but you can call be 'Sex Bomb, sex bomb....' :-*
PS. Hey, Delilah, you still going out with that chap called Sampson? What colour is his hair?