Hi there all you TF watchers we hope you have a great Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8HehlaZG5Y

Nuts

Nice.   You would look good as A father Christmas. Ha, Ha, Ha.
Merry Christmas to All the readers on the Forum site.
Weather is so warm at the moment, but beware, get you Winter woolies out at the weekend. Getting MUCH COLDER!

before you all get nostalgic about a 'White Christmas'.... let me remind you of what Christmas GB is these days..... I work for a large corporation....

FROM: Mary Smith, Office Girl
TO: All Employees
DATE: 16November2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our MD will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Mary Smith

FROM: Mary Smith
TO: All Employees
DATE: 17November2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Mary Smith

FROM: Mary Smith
TO: All Employees
DATE: 18 November2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that £10.00 is too much money and the executives believe £10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

FROM: Mary Smith
TO: All Employees
DATE: 19 November2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food .. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?
Mary Smith

FROM: Mary Smith, Office Girl
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: 20November 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!

 Mary can we bring our partners or someone else and if so is there a charge
   thanks
   dave( in the copy room)
 PS do we need to take this as part of our leave entitlement or is it our christmas bonus

JT42 obviously not a bank employee then!!

They will get bonuses, extra time off, Champagne Buffets with Belugar Caviar and Smoked Salmon, Canapees made by Heston Blumethal and Limo Chaufered Home to their Second Homes in Chelsea.

And all for screwing up our lives, and borrowing all our money to bail out their bad business decisions, and yes I am sure they sleep at night !! infact I am sure they laugh themselves to sleep!!

Merry christmas from the Vicar of Dibley



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP-84G6PqYE

Happy Christmas everyone.. this has to be one of my favourite carols of all time...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPekxA8bScs

Nigel

Yawn! Now I know why you never hear of Jasper Carott anymore!

( ''like a load of larks- PIL-LARKS'')

Merry Christmas to all - may all your wishes come down the chimney  ;) ;)
Nosocks

Thank's very much, ............. a thought has ocurred to me reading your message..................do you hang up a sack for your pressies at Xmas as you've got................nosocks!
                              Old Nelson.

I don't want any presents or surprise out of Santas Sack

Merry Christmas ......................

Busy day today.

Had to watch the usual kids Christmas nativity play and songs etc.............in all honesty for me it's the first real sign of Christmas as far as I'm concered as we usually go back to the UK  apart from shopping in all the big stores like Carrefore & Sebeco (only in this area of course) ..........Barcelona do it a 'little bit better'

Anyway, hope everyone has a great time, and I hope our clients today havn't been put off because they went for their NIE numbers in TORTOSA and something was wrong with the computer, so they have to go back again.......................................of course they cant be here to do it at such short notice, so we will have to organise something else.

A fantasic Christmas and a very Happy New Year to everyone on the forum, and lets hope you all have a much better 2010.

Jools.....xxxxx
Jools

Thank's very much, ............. a thought has ocurred to me reading your message..................do you hang up a sack for your pressies at Xmas as you've got................nosocks!  
                             Old Nelson.

I always write my list so that all presents are delivered by a truck  ;)

I hope everyone has as good a Christmas as me, and a very prosperous New Year :)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS eveyone

:)Merry Xmas all you lucky people out in Spain,
Also Re -Energy Saving lamps,  Poundland in UK doing 10 Philips 11watt Eddison Screw lamps for you £1.00 and as nobrot said no probs taking over to Spain in luggage got to be a bargain !!!!!
Had a great few days over there last week, 1st time seen snow on the hills above casita ,shame it had to turn to rain on last day though.
Only down side was when I was in a rush to get back down to Tortosa, and got hire car stuck fast on a rock and as you all know hire cars only allowed on tarmac ;) will have to blast that damm rock away next time.
All the best
depressed to be going back to work today
Phil  ;D

so what´s so fantastic about your christmas then Steve.....????

wrote on Dec 24^th, 2009 at 6:33pm:

so what´s so fantastic about your christmas then Steve.....????

I am having a day off :)

Ditto - Merry Xmas everyone :)

wrote on Dec 24^th, 2009 at 7:55pm:

wrote on Dec 24th, 2009 at 6:33pm: so what´s so fantastic about your christmas then Steve.....???? I am having a day off :)

Day off Day off Luxury I say, still had to get at 6:00 am the stop the cats fighting, stoke up the fire put the christmas decorations up fit 2 doors chop logs for the fire, and you tell that to youngsters these day and they don't believe you

.....and still have change for a portion of chips and a bus home after a 27 hour day

You forgot the ten pints of beer for 10p a pint and licking the road clean crawling home

Have a Happy Christmas everyone !!