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Message started by Bunter on Jun 11th, 2015 at 1:52am

Title: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 11th, 2015 at 1:52am
http://weather.weatherbug.co.uk/Spain/Tortosa-weather/local-forecast/7-day-forecast.html?zcode=z6286&lang_id=en-GB

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Ritaratbag on Jun 11th, 2015 at 3:16pm
Torrential rain has closed some motorways.
Madrid area being hit the worst, so far.

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 12th, 2015 at 8:56am
Is this bad weather the result of Rita stripping naked for a photo on the top of Mount Caro?  Perhaps any good weather is the result of me keeping my clothes on?   ;)

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by ebrorob on Jun 12th, 2015 at 9:45am

Michael wrote on Jun 12th, 2015 at 8:56am:
Is this bad weather the result of Rita stripping naked for a photo on the top of Mount Caro?  Perhaps any good weather is the result of me keeping my clothes on?   ;)



Wow,first Rita the Bungee jumper ,now Rita without her jumper!!!! :D


Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bulldog on Jun 12th, 2015 at 7:26pm
Dear fellow members, you have got hold of the wrong end of the stick, the above actions were simple cause and effect as follows. While showing my good friend Rita the sacred mountain of Mt Caro and the lost temple of the gentle folks of the forum, Rita decided to take a selfie on the sacred mountain so while reversing the car ready to leave what I did not know was Rita's clothing was caught in the door and her hand and facial gestures were not a sign of wonderment but of anger as I pressed the pedal to the metal leaving her in a embarrassing position now being secured to the vehicle with her knicker elastic only, hence as she was launched over the side of the mountain referred to here as Bungee jumping. So I hope this clears these rumours up once and for all.
Yours a bruised faced Bulldog.      

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 13th, 2015 at 4:04am
Dear Bulldog,
That's all very well but it wasn't how the gods saw it.  I guess it's all a question of perspective.   ::)

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 13th, 2015 at 8:02am
Currently it's thundering, lightning and absolutely pouring down.  Bulldog... Are you sure your dressing gown isn't gaping a bit?  The gods can see you in your shack on the hill you know!!!   ;)

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bulldog on Jun 14th, 2015 at 3:27pm
Dear Michael,
My shack on the hill clings on, at the foot of the sacred mountain and I doubt the Gods look down on me kindly as I get more than my fair share of snakes,creepy crawlies and thunderstorms. You state my dressing gown may not have been secured in a decent manner but I can ensure you my gapings were completely enclosed as stated in the gentle folks forum manual for casual wear reg 4. Her indoors has just taken great pleasure in pointing out that I should look at the rear seating area of my gown that she states is in constant use. Sorry to have questioned your wisdom Michael and more care will be taken in the future.
Yours a Bulldog guilty as found.

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Ritaratbag on Jun 14th, 2015 at 7:04pm
Now you really have upset the weather.
Every day, thunder and rain.
How are you coping in the shack on the hill with the one eyed cat?

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 16th, 2015 at 10:15am
Bulldog do not step outside We had a bit of a storm overnight  :D ;D
Tortosa_shack_up_hill.jpg ( 10 KB | 160 Downloads )

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 16th, 2015 at 10:20am
;D
One_eye_eye.jpg ( 8 KB | 157 Downloads )

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bulldog on Jun 16th, 2015 at 4:42pm
Hi all,

I forgot the promotional pictures of the Bulldog shack on the hill that you took for us Bunter, Oh you should see it now!!!!!!!!!!!! They just don't make cardboard like they use to.

Oh Rita things here have gone from bad to worse and a deep depression has settled over the shack and even double doses of trancs aren't working for Jeffery or me.

It all started the day after the first thunder storm. while her indoors was surfing the net and Jeffery on my knee sat at her left hand side, I had just dipped my custard cream into my tea to soften it for jeffery as he is now down to only a couple of teeth. When her indoors let out a scream which even deaf one eared Jeffery looked up at. As I followed her gaze to the window then a second even louder scream echoed in the room from me. I picked myself up off the floor after being hit by her Bullmastiff who was across her knee now growling at the window. Looking back was the largest snake known to mankind, at this point the wife said, Move it now, while she comforted Jeffery. Now the hero that I am I was stood outside face to face what could be certain death and decided to speak in a very stern voice telling the snake to remove itself and for some unknown reason it took exception to this and moved towards me I then poked it with the very short stick I was holding she says the stick was closer to 6ft which seemed to really annoy the creature, which came even faster towards me Uh I left it standing and was back in the house in no time. A little red faced I told the wife it had been removed permanently.

So you can imagine 2 days later in the next heavy thunderstorm just before the next session of rain started Jeffery was laid outside on his favourite stool in his cat pen when her indoors said bring him in. I was just starting to dry myself off and get into dry clothes as I was wearing nothing more than a silly grin, underpants and flip-flops with my gapings having no security at all At this point the base of his old stool gave way and he fell through letting out one of his screams. I found him with his bum well and truly stuck in the stool with just one ear. one spinning eye and one leg stuck up through the stool like a broken fruit machine waiting for his leg to be pulled. Imagine your nearly naked hero having to remove Jeffery from his embarrassing situation when I turned cold with horror when I saw the afore mentioned snake just inches under his bum. In sheer panic I flung the gate open grabbed Jeffery and the stool having lost one of my flip-flops and dignity and pushed him to safety through the gate. The snake up to its old tricks again positioned itself between my flip-flop and me then the downpour came I grabbed the only thing available to me which was the garden rake which was laying against the fence It was still moving towards the stool Jeffery and me. Filled with panic and terror, combat then took place. I was only brought to my senses when I heard her indoors scream you have got it on the rake SWEETHEART, as this was a word she seldom used in my presence and rarely towards me I was brought back to reality and seeing the snake was now at a disadvantage I ran limping up onto the balcony and sent it airborne into the next door neighbours finca. Now you know why Jeffery and I are both deeply depressed and on double trancs.

YOU DID ASK.
Yours according to her indoors a heroic Bulldog.       

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 16th, 2015 at 8:22pm
Ahh Bulldog.  If only Adam had shown such resilience when it came to snakes we wouldn't have half the problems we have today.  Well done!  You should have been awarded the Order of the Garter Snake the other day.  (In no way do I advise you to use the word 'trouser' at this juncture.) 

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 17th, 2015 at 11:47am
;D Normal Service resumes.
Hill_Top_Fashion.jpg ( 6 KB | 156 Downloads )

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bulldog on Jun 18th, 2015 at 7:08pm
Thanks for the picture Bunter YES as it shows I've still got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but sadly going further south every day.

Shopping yesterday, like pulling hens teeth a rare experience happened I met friends that I had not seen for a long time who gave me some advice stating I should get a gun for the snakes. When I got back to the shack on the hill I said to her indoors I had solved 2 problems, YOU she stated I ignored this and continued by taking my best John Wayne stance saying I've got your birthday present sorted and the snake problem A GUN!!!!!!!!!! at this she burst into uncontrollable laughter only stopping to say you and a gun in the same sentence, this will never happen. You the man whose idea of killing something would be playing a Des O Conner record to it. Dont go there as I still have not got over the picture of an Ostrich on the front of my Valentines card. So Jefferey and I still have the snake problem as well as the birthday present problem.
Your a Bulldog with problems.

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 23rd, 2015 at 12:41pm
Bulldog dear chap.  More electrical storms and rain last night - about 8.30pm when your gentleman's gentleman normally prepares your baignoire prior to dinner at the shack I believe.  Would you be so good as to check your bath robe in addition to the dressing gown?  There's only so much of the gods' wrath one can stand.   :)

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 24th, 2015 at 2:03am
Well that was a rather large downpour what what >:( >:(

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 24th, 2015 at 5:18am
Another downpour but fortunately no loss of electric supply... which I'm putting down to Bulldog having checked his garments.

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 24th, 2015 at 8:15am
:) :o :o
Tortosa_blind_date.jpg ( 9 KB | 152 Downloads )

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bulldog on Jun 24th, 2015 at 4:22pm

Michael wrote on Jun 24th, 2015 at 5:18am:
Another downpour but fortunately no loss of electric supply... which I'm putting down to Bulldog having checked his garments.

Dear Michael,
The last few thunderstorms and downpours, one of which occurred last night, causing me to loose contact with my medical specialist at Holby so I don't know what ails me now. I put this down to Smidge who beside yourself and man about town Bunter, I sent a PM to. This was in setting up a new cocktail club for the forums gentle folk, due to my lack of expertise in P.M.ing and Smidges, Bunter and yourself completely misunderstanding the message which clearly stated that committee members should attend in forum dress code and put on a display of their cocktail in the raw to be inspected for future meetings by all members there present I will say that your dressing gown which was more Bohemian but I am afraid had the same very poor fastening system as Smidges and the complete lack of fastening by Bunter left you all in a delicate position and open to much criticism by the female members and you all must take your fair share of the Gods wrath some of which I except was also aimed at myself for my poor lack of taste and the punishment we received of only loosing Holby meant we got off very lucky indeed.
Yours a rebuked Bulldog.      

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 25th, 2015 at 3:10am
Michael I get a feeling that Bullfrogs forum account has been hacked and you are being "Groomed" by some dressing gown perv Please check your rear for undue exposure.  :o :( :o Best wishes Rolf Glitter.

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Michael on Jun 25th, 2015 at 11:35am
Dear Rolf,

I feel a song coming on...

Title: Re: Rain is on way
Post by Bunter on Jun 25th, 2015 at 3:44pm
Oh yea. Tell it like it is brother   8-)
Tortosa_fix_it_club.jpg ( 11 KB | 148 Downloads )

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