Hi all,

I forgot the promotional pictures of the Bulldog shack on the hill that you took for us Bunter, Oh you should see it now!!!!!!!!!!!! They just don't make cardboard like they use to.

Oh Rita things here have gone from bad to worse and a deep depression has settled over the shack and even double doses of trancs aren't working for Jeffery or me.

It all started the day after the first thunder storm. while her indoors was surfing the net and Jeffery on my knee sat at her left hand side, I had just dipped my custard cream into my tea to soften it for jeffery as he is now down to only a couple of teeth. When her indoors let out a scream which even deaf one eared Jeffery looked up at. As I followed her gaze to the window then a second even louder scream echoed in the room from me. I picked myself up off the floor after being hit by her Bullmastiff who was across her knee now growling at the window. Looking back was the largest snake known to mankind, at this point the wife said, Move it now, while she comforted Jeffery. Now the hero that I am I was stood outside face to face what could be certain death and decided to speak in a very stern voice telling the snake to remove itself and for some unknown reason it took exception to this and moved towards me I then poked it with the very short stick I was holding she says the stick was closer to 6ft which seemed to really annoy the creature, which came even faster towards me Uh I left it standing and was back in the house in no time. A little red faced I told the wife it had been removed permanently.

So you can imagine 2 days later in the next heavy thunderstorm just before the next session of rain started Jeffery was laid outside on his favourite stool in his cat pen when her indoors said bring him in. I was just starting to dry myself off and get into dry clothes as I was wearing nothing more than a silly grin, underpants and flip-flops with my gapings having no security at all At this point the base of his old stool gave way and he fell through letting out one of his screams. I found him with his bum well and truly stuck in the stool with just one ear. one spinning eye and one leg stuck up through the stool like a broken fruit machine waiting for his leg to be pulled. Imagine your nearly naked hero having to remove Jeffery from his embarrassing situation when I turned cold with horror when I saw the afore mentioned snake just inches under his bum. In sheer panic I flung the gate open grabbed Jeffery and the stool having lost one of my flip-flops and dignity and pushed him to safety through the gate. The snake up to its old tricks again positioned itself between my flip-flop and me then the downpour came I grabbed the only thing available to me which was the garden rake which was laying against the fence It was still moving towards the stool Jeffery and me. Filled with panic and terror, combat then took place. I was only brought to my senses when I heard her indoors scream you have got it on the rake SWEETHEART, as this was a word she seldom used in my presence and rarely towards me I was brought back to reality and seeing the snake was now at a disadvantage I ran limping up onto the balcony and sent it airborne into the next door neighbours finca. Now you know why Jeffery and I are both deeply depressed and on double trancs.

YOU DID ASK.
Yours according to her indoors a heroic Bulldog.