Here at the shack on the hill, her indoors has decided to improve my memory following the traumatic events of yesterday while out shopping. The day started normal and the following check list followed. Label still attached to collar stating if found wandering please return to shack on the hill, shopping list in hand and all else required to do the shop.

Things started to go wrong in Lidl's as I stood staring at my list trying to remember the last item she told me not to forget to add to the list and buy, which in my defence I could remember but not name it, While pondering the young man who works their and speaks English who always comes to me for a chat ( there's no accounting for taste. )asked what it was I was looking for, looking at him I said I wanted a aaaaaaaaaa  urmmmmmmmmm then the pregnant pause set in and being the helpful chap he is said if I told him in English he would try to find it. His expression turned to pity as I said I am trying to tell you in English but I cannot remember the bloody word. I left him feeling slightly depressed as his final statement was not to worry as all English suffered from this head illness.

Then travelling to the other side of town to get the rest of our shopping, I stood at the side of the road and as I see it with a thoughtful expression upon my face but as the wife sees it with a vacant expression and talking to myself trying to remember what I had gone there for. I suddenly found myself being manhandled and whizzed across the road by a young lady dragging me behind her speaking Spanish with a look of a good Samaritan on her face who obviously thought I needed assistance to cross the road. Looking into her young cheerful eager to help face I had not the heart to rebuke her so we parted with a smile. I then remembered what it was I needed and waited till she was out of site and had to recross the road back to where I had started.

Upon returning home and looking for sympathy, the wife cracked up laughing stating that perhaps now you will stop talking to yourself with a vacant look on your face wandering aimlessly up and down the roads instead of doing what I told you. So my parting shot was other men of my age must have this problem so stand up and be counted!!!!!
Yours a mind failing Bulldog.      

'She who should be obeyed' sounds like a sensible woman, so as long as she keeps you on a short leash in future you should be ok. ::)

Did the lady who came to help you ask for any money and was there a white chair anywhere around?

I can't remember forgetting anything

C.J.
Stand up and be a man.

You once told me you drank to forget, It looks like its working, it does for me.
Yours a hic Bullsomething.

Ritaratbag wrote on Aug 14^th, 2015 at 5:30pm:

Did the lady who came to help you ask for any money and was there a white chair anywhere around?

Rita, really, her indoors has just explained what you have said. Do not think there was a white chair. I must admit I was once accosted in Mercadonna car park by a young man offering his services but told him straight not with a back like I've got. To my surprise the chap at the car besides me laughed and said in English was a bad back the best you could say.I told him yes without the wife being here.
Yours a shocked Bulldog.

I'm surprised that anyone who purveys their services with a white plastic chair would take you to the other side of the road when the one they have  works well.

My preferred alternative is to give La Senora the onerous task of looking after - and ergo being responsible for - the Shopping List .

Try it, it might just save any blame

Betty_Swollox wrote on Aug 15^th, 2015 at 11:50pm:

I'm surprised that anyone who purveys their services with a white plastic chair would take you to the other side of the road when the one they have  works well. My preferred alternative is to give La Senora the onerous task of looking after - and ergo being responsible for - the Shopping List . Try it, it might just save any blame

Dear B.S.
My ego somewhat deflated by her indoors busting out laughing saying if a woman was offering services she would have had a white stick and not a white chair which would also make her unsuitable to take charge of the shopping list.
Do you think she is having a go at me?
Yours a worried Bulldog.

If the cap fits, wear it!

Hi Bulldog,
You could always try getting a white stick and dark glasses yourself. That way you would have an excuse for not finding the shopping list.

Hi Bulldog,

I was going to post a reply here but I cant remember what it was !!

wrote on Aug 17^th, 2015 at 10:05am:

Hi Bulldog, I was going to post a reply here but I cant remember what it was !!

Tony it was about the chairs, as explained to you before it is not acceptable to be accosted by a woman carrying a green plastic chair either.
Hope this has been helpful.
Yours a chair accredited Bulldog.

In my position as the president of the Gentle Folks Anti Smut Committee I am responding to the numerous contacts I have received from the members of this forum to find out who instigated the slur relating to the ownership of white plastic chairs and the usages they are put to. This information as explained is confidential and the members name will be protected. Oh okay............ it was Ritaratbag.

As for Daisymays request the answer is No!!!!! White plastic chairs cannot be replaced for green by the Anti smut committee, so you must live with the stigma of being the owner of the now discredited chairs.
Yours from a wooden chair owning Bulldog.
   

Umm! even seen red chairs, with parasols by the roadside.
But Mr.Bulldog, I was intrigued as to why the lady helped you cross the road?
Wonder she didn't take you up to the hospital, to seek help and sort your medication out.
Mrs. Bulldog must be worried when you leave the shack on the hill!

Perhaps she was concerned that he didn't know which side of the road Lady Mary's bar was !!  ;D

Lady?

Good news, medication sorted, as normal as I can be.

REALLY plastic chairs.

Get a life you lot or at least some of my medication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours oh no the voices are back but not the memory Bulldog. 

Things are going up in the world.  I say a wooden folding chair at the side of the N340 today.  They are charging you too much Bulldog just because you have forgotten how much you used to pay !!

wrote on Aug 20^th, 2015 at 8:15pm:

Things are going up in the world.  I say a wooden folding chair at the side of the N340 today.  They are charging you too much Bulldog just because you have forgotten how much you used to pay !!

As you know Tony, wooden folding chairs even at the side of the N340 are for birdwatching only and for people like us or in technical terms twatters as many of the Gentle Folk on this forum are e.g. eagle watching etc.

As I remember I have only paid once in my life and in my day it was called a MARRIAGE LICENCE. Cost me a bloody fortune but even with a bad memory would do it again tomorrow everybody say Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Yours a fellow twatter Bulldog.

As far as I can recall Bulldog (which is not very far) I have never seen a Twatter tramping through a bog in mini-skirt and long high-heeled boots, - it must be very uncomfortable !!.  I shall have to ask my bird-watching friend Ebrorob if he finds that so.

From a birdwatching point of view chap's,one has never seen a short toed Twatter in mini skirt & gum boots,however using my field guide to European bird species, I was somewhat surprised to discover what this species iß known to spend most it's time doing!!!!!!!  For those of you in TF land who want to discover the habits of Twatters,use the website below.
WARNING. If you are easily offended,then just DON'T GO THERE!!!!!!
www.definition-of.com

Oooh.

Rob I don't think that was what Bulldog meant when he referred to the Gentle Folk of TFland as being Twatters,  unless he knows more about what goes on here then the rest of us.

Pass the sal volatile quickly someone as I am feeling quite faint. :-[

[quote author=5C474651280 link=1439562815/21#21 date=1440260001]Oooh.

Rob I don't think that was what Bulldog meant when he referred to the Gentle Folk of TFland as being Twatters,  unless he knows more about what goes on here then the rest of us.

Pass the sal volatile quickly someone as I am feeling quite faint. :-[/quote]
Oh dear, Oh dear,

Twatter ( definition ) Bulldog should wear glasses before typing on new Spanish keyboard.

Any offence caused ( who cares ).
Yours how did I get here from MEMORY Bulldog.

Bulldog wrote on Aug 22^nd, 2015 at 7:12pm:

[quote author=5C474651280 link=1439562815/21#21 date=1440260001]Oooh. Rob I don't think that was what Bulldog meant when he referred to the Gentle Folk of TFland as being Twatters,  unless he knows more about what goes on here then the rest of us. Pass the sal volatile quickly someone as I am feeling quite faint. :-[/quote] Oh dear, Oh dear, Twatter ( definition ) Bulldog should wear glasses before typing on new Spanish keyboard. Any offence caused ( who cares ). Yours how did I get here from MEMORY Bulldog.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D