A guy is lying in his hospital bed, wired up with drips and monitors, breathing with the aid of an oxygen mask. A young girl comes round the ward with the tea and newspaper trolley. Approaching him she asks if there is anything she can do for him. The guy looks at her and asks "Are my testicles black?"

"I'm terribly sorry but I'm not medical staff. I can't help you with that" she replies.

"Oh, please have a look for me,'' he pleads. ''I'm really worried; Are my testicles black?"

Taking pity on his obvious distress the girl glances around the ward and, seeing there are no medical staff around, says "Alright, I'll have a look for you". She pulls back the bedsheet, lifts his old fella out of the way and, cupping his crown jewels in her hand tells him, with a note of relief in her voice, "No, they look fine to me".

The patient pulls off his oxygen mask and says "I said, Are my test results back?"