And so it came to pass,the  phaoroh issued a proclaimation to the non believers.Followest me to  middle earth where I can provide you all with shelter for your families and land for your crops and beasts of the hoof,all at fantastic prices.
Much muttering and grumbling was heard and finally the non believers decided to stayeth put.
This didst cause great rage to the phaoroh  and she did send forth a swarm of tiny black, blood sucking insects,called locusts.
Steadfast was the resilience of the non believers and some even budgethed not,causing even greater rage.
Earthquakes where sent to raze dwellings to the ground,usually a JCB and 2 blokes from the council.Still the non believers refused.
Ponds and pools became stagnant,streams and wells dried up and great thirst was felt,unless of course one was on the communidad
Then the river shall runneth blood red came the proclamation,and lo,after a spot of rain in the hills the river didst run a sort of murky brown.
Darkness shall covereth the land for three whole nights the  phoaroh finally announanced.
Much panic didst ensue among the non believers until the sound of generators could be heardeth throughout the land.
Finally peace fell across the land and the three wise estate agents could sleep soundly in their mangers at night safe in the knowledge that the great star over Tortosa was in fact Saturn.

Looks like the gods have decided our wells won't run dry with all this lovely rain they've sent us