Here at the shack on the hill, her indoors has decided to improve my memory following the traumatic events of yesterday while out shopping. The day started normal and the following check list followed. Label still attached to collar stating if found wandering please return to shack on the hill, shopping list in hand and all else required to do the shop.

Things started to go wrong in Lidl's as I stood staring at my list trying to remember the last item she told me not to forget to add to the list and buy, which in my defence I could remember but not name it, While pondering the young man who works their and speaks English who always comes to me for a chat ( there's no accounting for taste. )asked what it was I was looking for, looking at him I said I wanted a aaaaaaaaaa  urmmmmmmmmm then the pregnant pause set in and being the helpful chap he is said if I told him in English he would try to find it. His expression turned to pity as I said I am trying to tell you in English but I cannot remember the bloody word. I left him feeling slightly depressed as his final statement was not to worry as all English suffered from this head illness.

Then travelling to the other side of town to get the rest of our shopping, I stood at the side of the road and as I see it with a thoughtful expression upon my face but as the wife sees it with a vacant expression and talking to myself trying to remember what I had gone there for. I suddenly found myself being manhandled and whizzed across the road by a young lady dragging me behind her speaking Spanish with a look of a good Samaritan on her face who obviously thought I needed assistance to cross the road. Looking into her young cheerful eager to help face I had not the heart to rebuke her so we parted with a smile. I then remembered what it was I needed and waited till she was out of site and had to recross the road back to where I had started.

Upon returning home and looking for sympathy, the wife cracked up laughing stating that perhaps now you will stop talking to yourself with a vacant look on your face wandering aimlessly up and down the roads instead of doing what I told you. So my parting shot was other men of my age must have this problem so stand up and be counted!!!!!
Yours a mind failing Bulldog.

Did the lady who came to help you ask for any money and was there a white chair anywhere around?

C.J.
Stand up and be a man.

You once told me you drank to forget, It looks like its working, it does for me.
Yours a hic Bullsomething.

I'm surprised that anyone who purveys their services with a white plastic chair would take you to the other side of the road when the one they have  works well.

My preferred alternative is to give La Senora the onerous task of looking after - and ergo being responsible for - the Shopping List .

Try it, it might just save any blame

If the cap fits, wear it!

Hi Bulldog,

I was going to post a reply here but I cant remember what it was !!

In my position as the president of the Gentle Folks Anti Smut Committee I am responding to the numerous contacts I have received from the members of this forum to find out who instigated the slur relating to the ownership of white plastic chairs and the usages they are put to. This information as explained is confidential and the members name will be protected. Oh okay............ it was Ritaratbag.

As for Daisymays request the answer is No!!!!! White plastic chairs cannot be replaced for green by the Anti smut committee, so you must live with the stigma of being the owner of the now discredited chairs.
Yours from a wooden chair owning Bulldog.

Perhaps she was concerned that he didn't know which side of the road Lady Mary's bar was !!